Nathaniel Charles Feldon

On a slightly happier note than my previous blog entry.... I am so excited an amazed when i look back over the past year - two years of my life.

9 months ago, it was my mums birthday and also 9 months ago (today) my boyfriend and i started "officially" going out.

I know it probably seems weird to be doing a blog entry about "9 months" but oh well, im weird and you probably all know that by now.

Nathaniel Charles Feldon is incredible and i literally thank God each and every day for placing this man in my life.

I am so thankful for you Nathaniel and you have just totally changed my life in the past 9 months. You have been there for me in the good times and the not so good times, you have helped me to re-ignite my love for Christian Camping, you have reminded me that I can do things i thought i could not, taught me to have more patience,helped me to aim higher and dream bigger and you have also reminded me to take risks in life.

The past 9 months have been filled with tears, laughter, fun times together, movies, meeting family, seeking adventure, taking photos, getting stuck in Tirau, giant white teddy bears and tigers, growing together, praying hard and watching God at work, flirting in the kitchen at camp, talks about the future, hugs and kisses, cups of tea, hot chocolate's and chai latte's, picnics, listening to me moan and groan,sickness and health, wellington, Palmerston North, Hawkes bay, Matamata, Hamilton, Totara Springs and so much more.

You have taught me so much in such a short amount of time. I will NEVER look at life the same again. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with me.

Nathaniel, you truly mean the world to me and i do not know what i would do without your presence in my life.

The past nine months has been a journey to remember (and NEVER forget). It has gone so fast yet at the same time, I can't believe it has only been nine months.

You are a "Gift of God" who has taken up a place in my heart a my life. A place which no-one will ever replace. <3

How are you? Are you okay?

Im sure that every single one of us (at some point in our lives), has been ask the question "How are you?" or similar to that "Are you okay?"

What is your usual response when asked this? Does your response depend on who is asking the question and how much of your life story they already know?

I have noticed in the last few months (but more specifically, the last few weeks), that my response to these types of questions, does indeed depend on who i am talking to. I have also noticed that with other people and the way their responses change with different people.

The people who ask us these questions, obviously care enough to ask in the first place, right? I know now that when i ask someone these types of questions, i want to know how they really are.

Last night i had a friend who knew i was finding a couple of things in life slightly challenging. He asked how i was and as usual, i said "im okay" or "good" but when really inside, i knew i wasn't. This friend is amazing, I have only known him since the middle of Feb this year (not even three months yet) when i moved up to Hamilton and Taurima Christian Hostel. Already this friend can read me like a book - especially with a couple of things going on at the moment.

He knew i was not okay and encouraged me to share how i really was feeling instead of changing the subject or avoiding the subject altogether which i noticed i am quite good at. This was around 10:30 last night and i knew i was not in a mood to share right then because i was over-tired and knew i would probably start to cry.

This morning i sent a message to this particular friend, saying that i know i WANT/NEED to talk to him today and that i will talk rather than letting things bottle up inside. I know he really wants to know whats going on, otherwise he would have dropped it by now but no he hasn't.

I guess what i am trying to say here is:

If your friends care enough about you to continue asking "How are you?" or "Are you okay?" and you are not good or not okay, then TELL THEM!

I know from experience that the true friends do not give up that easily and will continue to ask you over and over again.

Your choice:

The "no, im not okay" "im not that great" way ?
or
the "yep yep, im good" "of course im okay - life is just peachy" way?

2010 becoming clearer

So often in life, we think we can do somethings but we can't do other things. No matter how hard it is to tell someone something we are going through, we still seem to tell them that "everything is okay, or I am fine" even when we know we are not. We tend to rely so much on our own strength and think we can get through things on our own.

Do we live life the way we want to - being the person we want to be

OR

Do we live life the way others want us to - being the person that the rest of society wants us to be?

This past week has been a real challenge for me - i have learnt more about why i am in Hamilton this year and why i think God has placed me here in Taurima Christian Hostel. I have learnt that the mix of people we have this year in this hostel is incredible and that we can all relate to each other in some way, shape or form (if we really get to know each other). I have also learnt to appreciate the statement people often say about university friends being lifelong friends.

Life is certainly never easy and God will always throw us a curve ball when we least expect it or when we think life is going great but another thing that i have learnt this past week is that he will NEVER throw us a curve ball which he thinks we can not handle or are not good enough for. These may seem too hard or difficult to face but in the long run, the ups and downs of life are what draw us nearer to our creator. God supplies us with all that we ever need and that most definitely includes all the incredible friends that have been placed in our lives - whether we have known them 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks or 3 minutes.

Eleanor, thank you so much for opening up and telling me what you have - you are incredible for doing that.

A reminded to EVERYONE who reads this: Never think that you have to go through anything alone because there WILL always be people here to support you.

Love and Blessings,

Kath :)

Tweens or Tweenies

This was first written back in like May i think after reflecting on a lecture that we were given about Tweens and Tween Culture.... yikes!!!

"So today when we got to our Human Development Lecture, it was all about Tweens (or Tweenies) and their place in today's society!

Wow, what an insightful lecture....

In 2006, Rawlings defined tweens as "children between the ages of 8 years and 12 years old".

All i can say after sitting through this powerful lecture is that flip, we need to think about what "tweens" are really seeing in society and explain to them that they do not need to grow up as fast as they currently think is necessary."

If you don't believe me about Tween Culture and how shocking some things are then just pop onto google or even look at some of the slogans on t-shirts that Tweens of today are wearing. I mean come on, there is now toys and costumes for Tweens which are like what pole dancers use and wear - that is just ridiculous!

WAKE UP PEOPLE AND SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING IN OUR WORLD!!!

IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD - NOT JUST ONE PARENT OR ONE FAMILY MEMBER.

I know i CAN do it!

Okiee doke, so it is like the first week of May and in Waikato, that means it is graduation week for all the university students who have worked hard for however many years to earn their degrees and now they finally get that piece of paper and a chance to throw a nice looking black hat up into the air!

Graduation week up here (also means, as i noticed today), a time for the graduates to reflect on their time at university and to go around campus and take oodles and oodles of photos to remember in years to come.

As i was finishing my last class today and walking home from uni, looking at all the graduates that were having photos in their caps and gowns, it made me think about all the hard work they have put in over the last few years.

One of my grades that i got for a test which we did last term was a D and since getting that grade, i have not been totally happy. Since then i have questioned whether i really am meant to be here studying towards this degree or not (even though i know i love primary school students). Seeing those graduates today, i reminded myself that they may not have always had the best results and they probably had ups and downs with their grades BUT they stuck it out and succeed and now today they have graduated.

I am nearly 1/6 of the way through my degree and in four weeks, i shall only have 5 semesters left to go. It may seem like a lot at this point in time but seeing those grads today has reminded me that YES, I CAN DO IT! I am meant to be up here in Hamilton studying at the top SOE/FOE in the country and although the grades may not always be the best, I wont give up, i shall stick at it and I WILL SUCCEED!!

"Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."

(Phil 4:13 - The Message)

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

(Phil 4:13 - NIV)

Bring on the next 5 semesters of my life! :)

SHAVE!

On Saturday, some people in our hostel shaved their heads or dyed their hair an extreme colour in order to raise money and awareness for the Luekaemia & Blood Foundation.

This shaving of their heads got me thinking. I would have cut some of my hair off but this did not seem like much. I would have shaved my head but i kept on coming up with the following excuses:

• i love my hair and i know i would bawl my eyes out
• If i wasn't doing a teaching degree then yes i would

The whole time i was watching people have this done, it reminded me of when my brother had cancer back in 2007.

Since Saturday i have continued to think about hair shaving and cancer and a whole lot of other things.

So what is happening inside my brain?

If all is okay with my lecturers and tutors (as i have a solid four week teaching block straight after), then this year during CanTeen's Bandana Campagin, i am going to shave my hair in order to fundraise and raise awareness for CanTeen.

I still know that i will bawl my eyes out, will certainly need a hand or two to hold and i will be scared but I just know that it is something that i need to do at some point (especially after seeing a lot of people doing this on Saturday).

As long as i have the support of Mum, Dad, Ash, N@, friends and significant others in my life, then this thing which seems like a massive task will seem so much easier. I

Will keep you updated with the progress re talking to tutors/lecturers and information about how to support etc.

Till then keep safe and know that God love each and every one of you.

Love and blessings,

Kathryn xox

ANZAC Day 2010

April 25th 2010 was a Sunday, it was also ANZAC Day.

This year, i finally made it to my very first ANZAC Day Dawn Service. I don't know what it is but already this year i seem to be doing or going to a whole lot of new things which i have always wanted to go to but have never got around to it.

Anyway, once again, the fire alarms went off at our amazing Hostel at 4:50am (ish). For a change, i actually appreciated this going off as it meant i was at least up and would be ready in time for the Dawn Service.

After the fire alarm situation was sorted, it was time to head off to the Dawn Service with our hostel chef Russel and fellow residents Caleb, Olive and Nicole.

I had been talking to a couple of girls in the hostel the day before and they said they had been to Dawn Services before and they found them very moving. Being my first Dawn Service i had no idea what to expect.

WOW - honestly, i am so glad that i finally got to go to an ANZAC Service. Like the girls had said the previous day, it certainly was moving and i myself was almost in tears. Listening to "The Last Post", reading of poems, seeing all the forces represented in some form or another, the RNZAF plane fly over, the laying of the wreath, the reading of numbers of casualties - it was all just so amazing.

I then went to church and the ANZAC's were once again mentioned. Even when i went online to look at deals on grabaseat.co.nz , they had decided out of respect to the ANZAC's, to not sell flights untill after 1:30pm - RESPECT!

ANZAC Day 2010 made me stop and actually seriously think about all that was done for us those many years ago - life would not be as easy and free for us now if it was not for the soldiers who gave their lives for the countries back then.

I am so proud to be a New Zealander and I am proud of the history that our country has.

ANZAC Day 2015 = Gallipoli = Here I Come!

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

- Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)