Dear Diary/Letter to "Jacob"

Today, there is just so much going on and spinning around inside my head that I am not able to concentrate on my assignments which I am meant to be doing - its really annoying as they are due tomorrow and there is still a bit to go as well as an 8am class tomorrow morning.

I am going to write a blog now in the form of a diary so please forgive me if I do things like keep changing tenses or whatever - I just need to get all of this out of my brain.... right here goes

DEAR DIARY....

Today is just another day in the world of university work and right now there is so much work that I should be doing but to actually sit down and do it all just seems like such a massive task - so much to do and so little time (even when I have deactivated my facebook account).

At the moment it just seems so hard to even see to the end of this week but boy oh boy can I tell you that I am looking forward to a break this weekend - whatever Nathaniel and I end up doing, all I know is that I need to get away from the hostel and just relax and unwind for a day or two.

It seems like the last few weeks have just been GO GO GO and that is probably not helped at all by the fact that I did a week of kids camp during my break by oh well. LETS BRING ON THIS WEEKEND!!

Now for a total change of subject as I am just typing this as my brain spits it all out.

Why oh why do so many people in this world feel that they are not good enough - feel that they are not loved, feel that no matter what they do, nothing seems to work out and nobody cares about them?

Its time like this when I hear stories from people about themselves or about others that they know that my heart just literally breaks into what feels like a billion pieces and I just break down - its like the song Hosanna by Hillsong which says:

"Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks yours..."

Like I said, my heart just breaks... my eyes become open to the things that are unseen normally and yea....

Life is never easy, I can tell you that much and yes people are cruel at times but really there is no need at all for some of us in this world to be so well off, so proud of ourselves and of our families yet there are others in the same street we live in, even the same building we may live in who feel like the worlds are falling apart because people have been so cruel in the past that these particular people just do not feel loved and appericated.

People of this world need to know that there are people who are there for them, people they can look up to, people who will love and support them, people who genuinely really do care and who want to see the best in others - can I just say to anyone who reads this.... PEOPLE DO CARE AND YOU ARE LOVED!!!!!

No matter what we do, God will always love us, no matter how many times we stuff up or fail, God will always be there - he will never leave us or forsake us. He created us to be his hands and to be his feet, we are certainly born for a reason and a purpose - do not think for a single minute that you are not worthy of the life you have, do not think that no-one cares, do no think that you do not have a purpose in life, do not think that you were a mistake - you were born for a reason, God has your whole life planned out for you and what you are going through now is only a minor setback - the best is seriously yet to come and you will see that.

"Jacob", believe in yourself, know that you can do whatever you put your mind to - you are incredible and God has given you such an amazing talent which I know will take you on an journey of a lifetime. Your music will certainly be used to bless people and what you are going through right now will also be used to share with others and bless others.

People do care, people will always be there and all you have to do is open up your heart and let them in. I have heard people say to me in the past that the friends you make at university will be your friends for a lifetime - that is so true. Get out there, try your best, make friends and things will get easier.

Jacob, stay strong in what you do - keep hold of your faith and NEVER LET GO.Do not listen to the nasty things others say - this is your life, like I said last night, your chance to start a fresh where not many know you and where you can be who God has created you to be. He loves you, like we all do and wants to see the very very best for you.

Whenever times are tough, cling to God and he will carry you through the storm.

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/text.html

So that is pretty much my diary/letter to "jacob"/words to say for now.

Time to get back to this assignment.

Mumma/Aunty Kath - over and out!